Yes I know her.
I know her pretty well actually…(quiet)
Well, yeah.. we’ve done some stuff together.
We’ve become friends actually… over the years.(nodding)
What? Yeah. Well, of course. Yes, very accomplished. Insanely driven. Hard working, but so chilled when you get to know her…
Yes. I know, looks and a banging body too… Issa full-on package right there! (laughing)
Well, of course it looks like that on the outside, but she has her share of troubles.
No really…. You don’t know….
OK well I can tell you some really horrible stuff has happened to her.
Like crushing stuff, you know….things that would break you.
And yeah, she breaks.
She breaks. Breaks like a little girl, as they say.
I’ve seen her crouched on the floor, clutching her belly, wailing.
I’ve seen her cry for hours, seen her not get out of bed, seen her eat nothing but chocolate and wine for…I don’t know how long,
I've seen her when her eyes are red and her whole face is swollen and covered in snot and tears.
I’ve watched the crumpled tissues pile up by her bed - and not because she has a flu.
Oh she breaks. Yeah. (sighs)
I have seen her broken.
But then… then its like something happens.
You know that meme that has the quote “She remembered who she was, and the game changed”? That one?
Yeah. Its like something happens… like she remembers who she is. And then she kind of just gets up - slowly. I mean I'm not saying it's like some kind of high or anything.
Just gets up, you know. Washes her face, and starts again.
I’ve seen her start over …. So often…. Too many times actually.
Yeah I mean start over in all kinds of ways - I’ve seen her start over in business, in love, in friendships with other women. Just starting from scratch, you know? With a new project, a new man, or new people. That's gotta be hard. Especially when you’ve lost a lot of money, or your reputation has been tarnished, ego bruised, you know the deal... And the pride right? Like you have this epic massive fail and it’s like everyone is watching, and you just want to move to another country, you know?
But she doesn't flinch. Never let’s herself and the rest of us get away with it. She’ll look straight into the camera lens and start again. Take two, or seven or nineteen…whatever.
I know… I sound like I’m some kind of groupie….. I mean it’s hard not to have enough respect for a woman like that. She’s ….well… she’s something.
Sure there’s haters. Yeah… I've heard the stories…But her? I don’t think she ever even notices them, she’s so frickin focused (laughs).
I don’t know - maybe she does hear it and just ignores it all.
And you kinda have to feel sorry for those people… I mean they don’t really know what they’re talking about. Coz… her…?
She’s seen some things man.
Yeah. That’s her.
Photo by Ramez E. Nassif on Unsplash
I write to lend you my courage, to help you find the words for the things you feel, but are not yet ready to say. I write to tell the stories of our time, and to edify those whose stories I tell and their audiences.